


Illogical

by strawberriesinmoominvalley



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Angst, Introspection, actually they all are bar bo i just don't know how to tag, bo-katan should go to therapy, send help, set during chapter 16, some of the characters are minor, ursa wren kind of gets a mention if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:15:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28160775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberriesinmoominvalley/pseuds/strawberriesinmoominvalley
Summary: Why didn't Bo-Katan accept the darksaber during chapter 16?
Comments: 14
Kudos: 72





	Illogical

**Author's Note:**

> this wasn't going to be written, but sometimes characters hold you at gunpoint until you write them. so we get a little look into bo's head, and why she didn't take the darksaber from din
> 
> i have used mando'a in this, so translations are written in the end notes
> 
> i hope you enjoy - this is my first fanfiction i've ever wrote, so it's quite daunting!

It was illogical, and she knew it.

She’d accepted the darksaber from Sabine without duelling her. Sure, she’d put up a lot of resistance. Bo-Katan didn’t think she deserved it. She’d failed the first time – and how did anyone know it would go right this time? Her only claim was through Satine, and what did that matter? She’d killed her sister, killed the only chance Mandalore had ever had for peace. Maybe she didn’t fully agree with Satine’s ideas, but that didn’t mean she wanted her dead. Stars, anything but.

When she’d accepted the darksaber from Sabine, she’d done it for her. One of the few people in her life who’d cared. Satine meant everything to her – her happiest memories were when they were playing together as children. Maybe she could fix Mandalore for her – it would never be the same, times had changed, and Bo-Katan was too different from her for it to work. But it was a chance, and maybe she’d look down from the _Ka’ra_ (because Bo was sure she deserved a place) and be proud.

So why couldn’t she take the darksaber now? Surely it wasn’t any different?

But, Bo-Katan thought, everything was different.

She’d failed twice. Twice she’d been chosen to rule, and twice she’d failed. The first time maybe it could be put down to the chaos after the siege. It had all happened so quickly – capturing Maul, ruling, and then the Empire. They’d tried to make her submit to them – but if there was one thing Bo was, it was determined. She wouldn’t let a bunch of _aruetiise_ control her home. That had already happened, and it destroyed Mandalore – and Satine, a traitorous part of her mind reminded her.

But Gar Saxon had sided with the Empire. She was undermined. She watched her world be forced under Imperial rule, slaughtered and forced into submission. She couldn’t see her friends anymore, lest they get caught in the crossfire. So, she worked from the side-lines, building a rebellion. Maybe she couldn’t rule anymore, but she could make a start for the true ruler.

But Sabine had been adamant. She had persisted that Bo-Katan was the true _Mand’alor_ , that she deserved to rule. She’d resisted, but eventually gave in; after all, it was her chance to fix things. She could honour her sister’s death through ruling. She could make Satine proud. And _Manda_ , it was nice to see Fenn Rau again, even if he was the only protector from her childhood still left.

But by doing so, she’d condemned her people to massacre. Koska told her it was inevitable, but Bo didn’t think so.

The purge would be forever burned into her brain, dancing on her eyelids as she tried to sleep. The ships landing overhead, the smoke, the sheer terror. She’d barely ruled for a year, and Mandalore was a mess – they never stood a chance. She remembered fighting frantically, trying to save her planet, but it was too late. She’d barely made it off the planet alive. Bo-Katan had looked back before she’d entered hyperspace, at the burning, wrecked planet. She’d screamed and cried her way through that day, and she’d ruined her voice for months.

The purge had killed her friends, destroyed the remnants of an ordinary life she’d started to build. She remembered comming Sabine, telling her her mother was dead. She remembered learning that there were no Kryzes left, no protectors left. She’d just wanted to save Mandalore. She just wanted to honour her sister. Maybe she deserved to be lying in the glass that was Mandalore.

Why did she have to be the one to survive?

She wasn’t strong, she wasn’t brave. Bo-Katan Kryze wasn’t anything important. She was only good at war. She could never rule like her sister. She could never save her world. She had no indication that it was going to work this time, bar the fact she would do anything for her home. She would fight for the darksaber, she would prove she could do something.

Because she had to save her people. She had to rule, if only to fix where she went wrong.

She couldn’t accept the darksaber from Din Djarin. She had to win it this time, because last time she hadn’t. She had to prove that she was worthy to wield this legendary sword, to command with the power that it held.

Last time she’d killed her people.

Last time she’d accepted it, and people had put their trust in her. Last time, she’d watched as clans swore their allegiance to her. Last time, she saw faces that she could never see again. Last time, she’d wiped out her people.

This time had to be different.

Maybe Djarin would be better than her at being _Mand’alor_. At least it wasn’t in Gideon’s hands, and was back with the Mandalorians. Bo-Katan just wanted Mandalore to be safe. She wanted her people to be safe. It wasn’t about the power; it wasn’t about the glory. She wanted home; she wanted _Manda’yaim_. She wanted her people to be happy – Mandalorians are stronger together.

Maybe she was being illogical. But she had accepted it once, and failed. She knew she could fight, and maybe she could prove her worth. She knew she could rule, it was in her blood. Bo-Katan could save herself, save her people.

She could show Satine she was sorry.

But she couldn’t do that by passively accepting the sword.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed your trip to angst-town!
> 
> mando'a:  
> ka'ra - stars, but in this context the mandalorian myth that they're the council of dead mandalorian leaders  
> aruetiise - outsiders/traitors (guess which!)  
> Mand’alor - the sole ruler of mandalore  
> Manda - a sort of collective soul you join when you die  
> Manda’yaim - the planet mandalore, but yaim means home - so the true home of mandalorians


End file.
